


Murder by Suga

by MidnightCassiopeia



Category: EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Bad Ideas, Don't wake Suga up, F/M, Fluff and Crack, I Don't Even Know, I hope you laugh, inspired by a friend, seriously, seriously just crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 09:29:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12339999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightCassiopeia/pseuds/MidnightCassiopeia
Summary: Namjoon and Jay(OC) just wanted some snacks, but they should have known better. This is why the god-of-destruction is never allowed in the kitchen. Ever.





	Murder by Suga

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bluejaykat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluejaykat/gifts).



“Shhhhhh, if Yoongi hears us Jay, we’re dead.”  
Namjoon crept forward toward the kitchen. A single light above the sink illuminated enough of the room to tell them where the refrigerator and cabinets were, and Jay and Namjoon hurried toward them, trying to get to their snacks and back to the room without waking anyone, especially Yoongi. He had a reputation among the BTS members as the most terrifying to wake, and neither of them wanted to think what would happen should they unnecessarily do so, especially since this would be the third time.  
“What do you want to eat?” Jay perused the fridge, leftovers from dinner lined the shelves, as well as some fruit and a few vegetables.  
A rattle sounded from the direction of the cabinets, where Namjoon had been looking for some napkins. Jay turned, just soon enough to see the disaster begin, as the pots, pans and bowls Jin usually kept in a neat and orderly state on the far cupboard’s shelves tumbled onto her fellow forager’s head with a rattle and clash that would have woken the dead. The darkened room had disoriented him and he had opened the cupboard thinking it was the tableware cabinet. They stared at each other for a moment in the dead silence following the tremendous sound, then they heard sounds of muffled swearing growing steadily louder and Namjoon panicked.  
“Run. Yoongi is definitely Angry!”  
“Too late…” Jay’s shaking hand pointed to the kitchen doorway adjacent to the living room, a dark figure stood there, his hand reaching for the knife block next to wall. “We’re dead.”  
Both bolted back through the other door, Namjoon making a beeline for his dorm room and Jay making for the bathroom, the only room in the house she could think of now that had a strong enough lock to keep the angered Yoongi at bay.  
“NAMJOON!” Yoongi roared past the bathroom door and Jay flinched against it for a moment.  
Screams of terror and Namjoon’s pleas for Jin to help and save him could be heard and Jin’s replies that he had brought it on himself and he would not help, not this time around, echoed back through the door. Voices egging Yoongi on, and Laughter filled the dorm halls, voices Jay assumed belonged to the rest of the members of BTS, Jungkook, Jimin, V and J-hope. Sinking down where she was, she let her mind wander as she waited for her tired and angry friend to return after murdering his band mate.  
She had first met Namjoon or “Rap Mon” as she had better known him at the time, a month of two ago, about four months into her yearlong stay in South Korea to learn the language. While she had been at a fireworks show with her friend and roommate Kris, she had overheard a conversation he’d been having with Jimin, about the similarity of the fireworks to their lives and had found it interesting. After Rap Mon’s uninterested companion had stated his wish to observe the fireworks in peace, she had expressed her interest and become engaged in an extremely interesting conversation. From there, things had snowballed, as Namjoon asked her to come talk about Philosophy more often, and then he had introduced both her and Kris to the other members, other groups even, and now here she was, running from Yoongi after trying to get a midnight snack during one of their long Philosophical arguments.  
A tap against the door made her jump as her friend Cass, who had come to visit for a week or two and was probably woken as soon as Namjoon knocked everything down since she was sleeping on the couch in the living room having tired of waiting for her friend, spoke through the wooden portal.  
“It’s safe you know, Yoongi has calmed down enough that even Rap Mon has survived. Although he’s barricaded in his dorm still.”  
“Nope. He’s still there isn’t he. You’re just bait. He can’t get to one, so he’s going after the other culprit”  
Jin’s voice filtered through this time. “You’re hungry, right? I’ve got Pizza, and Jimin’s cat is right here outside the door. Come on out Jay. It’s safe.”  
“Seriously Jay. Besides, I doubt he’d actually hurt you.” Kris’s voice this time. But there was something, maybe laughter hidden in it.  
“I DON’T TRUST YOU. HE’S WAITING AND YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.”  
“Okay…. Yes, he’s there, but it’s okay. Jin took the knife. Jimin is putting it away. I promise.” Kris was truly laughing this time.  
“Nope, not buying it.”  
An answering mutter came from the other side of the door and then she heard footsteps fading away. Pulling her phone out, Jay dialed her boyfriend Jongdae’s number.  
A sleepy voice answered. “Hello?”  
“Jongdae… come save me please? I’m locked into the bathroom in BTS’s dorm, Yoongi is out to kill me, Cass and Kris told everyone my weaknesses and I’m hungry.”  
“What in the…. Were you and Rap Mon having a late-night discussion again?”  
“No.……maybe…… yes.” Jay’s voice was tiny now, trying to hide almost.  
“Give me a few minutes. I’m going to grab Minseok too.”  
“Okay”  
As Jay hung up, she heard footsteps again.  
“I told you, Jin took the knife. Okay? Just come out.” Cass obviously didn’t understand that Jay knew these boys well enough that she would never trust an angry, sleepy Yoongi to calm down so fast. That was definitely Kris laughing a bit further beyond the door and that was all the proof Jay needed that he was still waiting, and he was still very, very annoyed.  
“Nope. Not yet.”  
Another set of footsteps and the door rattled as someone tried to open it.  
“You know the boys are here right? Jongdae and Minseok?” Kris was still laughing as she said it.  
“Nope. Still don’t believe you. You just heard me call them. They’re not that fast. They may live close, but there’s no way they’re already here.”  
A muffled laugh and a sigh of defeat and the footsteps retreated again. 

About five minutes later, Jay was huddled on the floor, watching her phone, and praying that the pizza she could smell through the wooden door wouldn’t be cold by the time her boyfriend retrieved her, but who knew? He might not even be able to save her. He would have to deal with Angry Yoongi after all. She sighed. “Yay for midnight snacks. I should have got them alone.”  
“Jay? You alive in there? Minseok has Yoongi covered. Come on out.” Jongdae’s voice was welcome, but Jay still had her suspicions.  
“Fine, but I have a Hair Straightener and it is ON. Don’t let him touch me.”  
As the door opened, Jay was greeted with her laughing Boyfriend, a grinning Minseok who was holding Yoongi in an almost bear hug and Cass and Kris who had burst into even more laughter after Jay had agreed to come out. Jimin, Jin, V, and J-hope were sitting in the Living room outside the hall.  
“Finally, I was wondering if we’d ever see you again!” Cass cheered, and laughing tugged on her. “Let’s go back to your apartment, I’m super tired!”  
“First, Pizza. Then we can go. And if Yoongi comes after me again, I’m locking myself in again.”  
Everyone nodded, and Yoongi glared. “Fine. I was going back to bed anyways. Jin, don’t turn the light on when you come back in. I’m annoyed enough already.”  
The older boy nodded and they all watched as Yoongi slipped into his room, followed by a sigh of relief from the gathered group.  
“Jungkook already went back to bed because you were taking so long, and I’m guessing Namjoon is asleep too, since he hasn’t come back out and their light is off. I think Taehyung, Jimin and I will head to bed now as well, since we need not fear any more disturbances, right?” Hoseok laughed and the three roommates filed back to their room, closing the door.  
Jin got up and went into the kitchen. “Don’t worry, I kept the pizza warm and there should be enough for all of you.”  
Minseok who had been talking to his girlfriend, Kris, since letting go of Yoongi, lit up and rushed for the Kitchen, the others following at an almost as rapid pace. After enjoying the food and cleaning up, everyone said good night and went their separate ways. Jin shut and locked the door to the dorm and Jongdae and Minseok who had agreed to accompany the group of three girls to their dorm fell in behind them.  
“Please Jay, promise me you’ll try harder not to have him come after you. This is the third time in as many weeks!”  
“Third times the charm!” Cass piped up, laughed and moved forward, where Kris and Minseok had begun a small argument over whether they should go get coffee now or wait until tomorrow and began to bug them, taking Kris’s side as she was always up for a cup of coffee at any time.  
“Those three… they’ll be the death of us. Anyways. Yes, I promise I’ll try. No more letting god of destruction come to help me get anything. Okay?”  
Jongdae sighed. “Good Enough. Good night.”  
They had reached the Apartment Kris and Jay shared and now, after waving good night and promises of coffee at a nearby shop in the morning, everyone went to bed and prepared for whatever insanity might greet them the next day.


End file.
